Archive for May, 2013

Everyday Sexism

I’ve been reading this blog called everdaysexism.com for a few weeks now. Reading it is like smoking crack while beating yourself in the head with a ball-peen hammer. It makes me feel angry, ashamed, and physically ill.

But it is also like exercise- it makes me feel empowered.

It is an amazing project, and I highly recommend that EVERYONE EVER read it. Some of you will assume that the things written about never really happen/ only happen in odd cases. I assure you, though, that every single woman has experienced some sort of sexism in the course of their life. While some cases are decidedly more severe than others, such as rape, all sexism is degrading and dismissive of women. It has only been recently that I have come to acknowledge institutionalized sexism. It IS a part of our culture, and it is detrimental to society in general (not just women).

As a culture, we need to be better at recognizing sexism, and we need to be better at policing it. I am slowly getting there, and everydaysexism.com is a wonderful tool at recognizing this sort of thing. So, check it out. It will do you good.

So, in the vein of un-acknowledged sexism I wrote the following list. I am attempting to be humorous, but I am completely serious. I’ve gotten into arguments with male friends about the appropriateness of hitting on women who are completely uninterested in being hit on. They ask “Well, am I never supposed to speak to women again, then? HUH?”

No, that is not what I am saying at all (and your straw man argument makes you sound like a fool).

What I AM saying is that there is a time and a place to talk to women, and that is WHEN THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU. Unless you are unable to read body language (Yes, I know these people exist), then you should be able to tell when someone wants to be left alone. If you choose not to, it is your fault if the reaction is negative. Deal with it. I don’t care the woman is out in public/ wearing a skirt/ LOOKIN’ WAY HAWT, unless she has made it obvious that she wants to interact with you, then leave her the hell alone!

This is the 21st century, dudes, we can be out SIMPLY BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE. Just like you! I mean, think about it. I am sure you wouldn’t enjoy having some stranger sidle up to you and tell you that you sure look good in those pants. As men and women are conscious beings, we don’t appreciate being “appreciated” solely as sexual objects.

Think I am being bitchy? Fine.

Are you wondering “then when the hell IS it okay for me to compliment a woman, you feminazi??”

Well, here are some tips, then:

  1. If you don’t know her/ are a perfect stranger- DON’T BOTHER HER.
  2. If you are going to comment on her body – KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
  3. Is it dark out/ getting dark- DON’T BOTHER HER (this is super creepy!)
  4. Are you in a car while she is walking- STFU! (Even if we know you, we will probably just assume you are some jack-off and ignore you.)
  5. If she isn’t making eye contact with you/ has headphones on/ is reading a book- LEAVE HER BE!

(I am sure there are plenty of others, but I think it is about time for me to get off my soap box.)

I know, I know.  It is hard for men to approach women. The deck is kinda stacked in our court here, but this is one of a handful of ways it is, so deal with it! There is a time and a place to compliment women, and in any situation I mentioned above, it is unwelcome. And being unwelcome, we have every right to be rude or dismissive to you, because contrary to popular belief, a pretty young woman does not exist for the pleasure of strange men, and she does not automatically appreciate being objectified by them.

We don’t owe you anything,

we didn’t ask for your attention,

and frankly,

WE DON’T CARE what you have to say to us.

*insert ironical emoticon here*

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